1 Peter 5: 7: Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
It’s 3am on Sunday morning as I write this post and I can’t sleep. I have been replaying events that happened this past week over and over in my mind and I can’t let them go. Work this week has been difficult, frustrating and at times almost unbearable. I have encountered many people who are mean, uncaring and unforgiving. And I have let that affect my attitude for most of the week. Instead of turning to God for peace and reassurance, I have let my emotions get the best of me. I have struggled a great deal this week and I suspect that I know why. (More about that later).
This week has been hectic because the kids have been preparing for school to start on Monday. I went with one of my daughters to her open house this past Thursday. It was a good experience for her as she got to see her classrooms and meet her homeroom teacher. The first week of school, always brings a great deal of stress and worry to our home, and this year will very likely not be any different.
My mom and aunt have had a difficult week and I am extremely worried about their declining health. It is important to them that they care for themselves at home while they are able and I fully support that decision. However, I know that the time is getting near that some difficult decisions will have to be made and so I worry. My mom twisted her knee a couple of days ago and was suffering a great deal. I called her on Saturday morning to check on her and decided that she needed to go see a doctor.
She needed medical attention but “didn’t want to bother me” because she knew that I had struggled through a long and grueling work week. She told me on the drive to the doctor that she didn’t want to be a bother on my day off. I told her that I could never repay all the many times that she cared for me and that I would be a poor excuse for a son if I couldn’t do the same for her now. God blessed me with a wonderful mother and I am honored to be able to take care of her at this time in her life.
Now getting back to my struggles this week. I know why my week has been more difficult that usual. I have not given God the proper attention that He deserves. I have failed this week to set aside my usual time to focus on His word and to listen in prayer. Most mornings I get up early and read my Bible and pray before I go to work. This is a special time for me to connect with God, while the house is quiet, well before anyone else is up. It is a time in which I can recharge myself and draw near to my creator. It prepares me for what lies ahead that day.
This past week, I have come up with every excuse imaginable to not have that early morning time with God. I have continued to pray and to read my Bible, it just has not been at the start of my day. As Paul the Apostle would say, the things that are spiritually important to me I do not do but I end up doing things that I do not want to do instead.
This week I am getting back to my spiritual time with God at the beginning of the day. I will try to let God take control of my worries and anxieties and I will make every effort to trust in Him as he leads me through my week. I am facing many additional worries and problems and difficult decisions in this upcoming week. This week however, I am determined to give my fears and anxieties over to my loving and caring God. I know that my God who loves me and watches over me, will be there for me, and He will help me to overcome my worries and my lack of faith. Thanks be unto God for His forgiveness and for His mercy.